D. is currently living in Copenhagen. She loves the Danes. “They are superior people…they eat lots of fruit.”

My generous employer gave us two options for breakfast this morning: apples and danishes. One high-fiber, one low-fiber. One rich in antioxidants, the other clotted with sugary frosting. One that Danes eat, and another only named after them.

I hungrily made my choice, polyphenols be damned. I apparently don’t have a drop of Danish blood in me.