Fun with British personals

Me and J. Flying back to the US from London. Translating some British rag’s personals.
“Curvy.” J. looks at me, rolls her eyes: “Fat.”
“Drinks socially.” I correct: “Alcoholic. Wake up in my own sick at least 3x per week.”
“Seeking long-term relationship.” J. snickers: “Meaningless fling. I don’t want to see you when I wake up [...]

There’s someone for everyone

Me and D. Amsterdam. About 9pm. Headed to a party from Central Station.
We board a tram to Overtoom, punch our strippenkaarts, and take a seat. In the seat in front of us are two people.
To the left sits a Thai (maybe Malaysian or even Indonesian – I couldn’t say) tranny. Tall, thin, caked with makeup [...]