Is ‘retarded’ an offensive word?
In my mind, no. There’s a difference between ‘developmentally disabled’ or ‘mentally handicapped’ (for people who have Down’s Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, etc.) and ‘retarded’ (for people who are stupid). But, because I know and understand sensitivities around the term, I would never use the word ‘retarded’ around developmentally disabled people. But in other company, I freely use the term ‘retarded’ (and ‘barely-functional retard’) in reference to:
- Creationists
- Bible-beaters
- Hypocritical politicians
- People obsessed with terrorism, who have never lived in or even visited places that would ever be considered targets for terrorism
- People with horribly misplaced priorities
- sheeple - mindless drones who are carbon copies of everyone else around them
- rich brats who try to sound ghetto
- people to cackle into their cellphones while weaving in and out of their lane while driving
- annoying narcissists who are convinced that the entire universe revolves around them and their petty concerns
- People who can’t grasp things that your average kindergartener can
- pretty much everyone lampooned on South Park
For these sorts of people, the term captures my sentiments toward them like no other.
Posted on July 11th, 2008 by JM
I truly applaud the fact that you are even willing to discuss this.
I’m the mom of a special needs child. Before she was born I truly don’t think I would think twice when I heard the word retarded. Now it gives me a fever.
I personally find the word demeaning to people with special needs. My daughter might have a cognitive impairment but she’s not stupid, yet according to medical doctors, she is mildly retarded. So when she hears someone say “that’s retarded” or “you’re a retard” it’s very painful.
I truly wouldn’t want to take away your right to use the word. But for people involved in the special needs word it’s an extremely hurtful word. You don’t have to have a family member with special needs to know that slurs and stereotypes hurt. So, you wouldn’t want to hurt someone by not saying it to their face, yet just hearing the word on television or in a movie (Get Smart, Speed Racer, Tropic Thunder) causes great pain.
Most people wouldn’t think of saying the N word or calling someone a faggot. For whatever reason, retard still gets a pass.
I appreciate your bringing it up and for hearing one mom’s opinion on the matter.
Thank you HShore. I can easily imagine how you feel that way. I would never, ever use the word in reference to a person with special needs. Ever. I really reserve it for non-special needs people who are stupid because of intellectual laziness. But I hate it when people throw around the “that’s so gay” and “he’s a fag”, so point very much taken.
I think we all need greater awareness. It should not be used in public. For example, standing in a grocery checkout line and the checker says something like “I’m so retarded sometimes”, etc. She/he has no way of knowing if anyone in earshot has a loved one who, in an earlier day, would have been classified as “retarded”. Perhaps, when those of us who remember that pain-filled connotation (as with “gay” also), have disappeared, the new lexicons will be the only reminders that these words used to be derogatory.