DIY helium balloon aircraft - the stuff of childhood dreams

This is extremely cool. The guy used a lawnchair to build an airship that carried him 235 miles (from Oregon to Idaho) that was lifted into the sky by a bunch of helium-filled balloons. He periodically shot balloons with a BB gun to maintain the right altitude. He landed safely 9 hrs after liftoff.

End the HIV immigration and travel ban

AIDS ribbonDid you know that HIV-positive immigrants can not become US citizens? Did you know that the US is one of a handful of countries (including the Sudan and Saudi Arabia) that doesn’t allow visitors, much less immigrants, into the country who are HIV-positive (without special permission)?

I didn’t. But now that I know, I’m outraged.

Upon a bit more research (courtesy of Andrew Sullivan, who faces deportation in March unless the law changes) I learned that this senseless bigotry was initiated into law by none other than Jesse Helms, the nasty old racist and homophobe who (thankfully) died this past weekend. Hopefully this bigoted law will die with him.

The fact is that HIV does not constitute the communicable threat that people thought it did in the 1980s. I am gay and HIV-negative, spend a lot of time with HIV-positive people, and do not, in any way, fear for my health. And the costs of treating HIV are similar to that of other chronic illnesses, like diabetes (so it’s not as if HIV-positive people are going to screw our healthcare system any worse than it is already).

I’ve written my senators, Dianne and Barbara, and encourage you all to do the same.

It is sad that plenty of bright people who have plenty to contribute to our country’s discourse, creativity and productivity are being turned away because this bigoted law still sits on our books.

Fox News: we’ll make you look ugly if we don’t like you

It’s always been amusing to me that Fox News claims to be “fair and balanced”, when it is clearly anything but, but this gun is smoking so badly that there’s an air quality advisory in effect for a full 50 mile radius around their headquarters.

The fact is that the people the network caters to are, to put delicately, not the most intelligent people in this country (but they are numerous). They’re the type that equates physical ugliness with evil, having been inculcated to believe so by the worst Hollywood pap. So, why not use Photoshop to make your adversaries look like they deserve the enmity you feel for them?

Jacques Steinberg - Before and After Fox News\'s Photoshop

Steven Reddicliffe - Before and After Fox News\'s Photoshop

Let’s see, they get:

  • yellowed teeth (because bleached teeth are closer to Godliness)
  • distorted features (bad people have big noses, chins and foreheads)
  • dark circles under their eyes (to match their dastardly souls)

(And I love how they emphasize that overly-Frenchified name, Jacques, when they mention Steinberg - see the video, at the 1:06 mark)

I want to know - do any reasonable people, of any political stripe, think that Fox News is an actual legitimate news organization? Come on.

My favorite freaks: the crazy cat guy

Crazy cat man with friend on a leashThis is the second installment on a series I’ve started. The crazy BART lady was the first feature.

This guy is pretty old and shabby, but has an unusual relationship with his bushy, sullen cat.

He’s about 60 years old, and would probably be about 5′9″ if he could stand upright. But years of carrying his life-in-a-backpack and an obese cat across his shoulders have reduced the poor guy to a stoop.Crazy cat guy with cat on backpack

Totally unobtrusive. Never heard him make so much as a peep. He just ambles down the street with his cat perched on top of him, motionless.

I’ve seen him:

  • with the cat sitting on his backpack (see Tim’s picture to the right)
  • with his cat sitting across his shoulders (I’m serious)
  • holding his cat by the leash. He’ll pause as the cat investigates a fire hydrant or a piece of molten gum.

A display of symbiosis like I’ve never seen one.

Innocence vs Wisdom

Innocence vs WisdomI remember a time when there was no guilt associated with eating ice cream. Or when I was oblivious to the darkness of a black woman’s complexion when estimating her beauty. And when I would happily agree with criticism of the U.S., feeling like I had allies abroad.

Experience gives you wisdom. It also irrevocably destroys your innocence.

I remember realizing as a teenager that I couldn’t subsist on dessert and expect to be in shape. Getting pudgy earns you advice, and reading up confirms that advice. Ice cream and cookies for me became the mixed blessing that pesticides are to farmers today.

I remember a black female friend correcting me: T. wasn’t beautiful, but K. was, because she was light-skinned. The eyes of the black men in my dorm confirmed her position more strongly than mine. Today, I can’t help but perceive women of color through the prism that I know their culture values their beauty through.

I remember feeling the burning resentment against all things American from a large segment of people I met when I lived abroad. Their cricitisms of the U.S. had a strong undercurrent of loathing that mine didn’t. Judgments against religious bigotry and self-serving conservatism seem less valiant when they’re coupled with haughty sniping about our lack of fashion sense and stupidity.

Part of understanding the way things are makes you lose a part of you that didn’t understand enough about the way the world worked to be bothered by it.

But, then again, being bothered by something is what makes you act.

Daft Punk video creativity

I stumbled upon this popular YouTube video that shows the repetitive lyrics of Daft Punk’s Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger in a corporeal format. Very clever:

About half the way through, I was totally lost if the guy was actually following the lyrics accurately. I was wondering how many hours, days, weeks, months of practice it took him to do this. Amazing.

Then a couple of enterprising young ladies after their 15 million pageviews of fame (they’re already at 5 million) produced something similar. Daft Hands becomes Daft Bodies (and straight men begin to take notice):

Lots of coordination between two people.

Then came the male variant - introducing Daft Male Bodies:

This is when my a-ha moment came. This isn’t about the song at all, or synchronized lyric demonstration, either. It’s about seeing half-naked people writhe around to some techno music.

The last variant, the one that copied all the previous ones, is my favorite.

Customer service calls - yes, they really are recording the call

This was delightful (from the New Yorker, June 23 issue).

People express anger in two different ways. There’s “cold” anger, in which words may be overarticulated but spoken softly, and “hot” anger, in which voices are louder and pitched higher. At first the caller’s anger was cold:

AGENT: OK, sir. I’m gonna go ahead and explain this… OK, so on the information that you put this last time it was incorrect, so I apologize that you put it incorrectly on the site.

CALLER: OK, we got past that, bro. So tell me something I don’t know…

AGENT: Let’s see…uh…um

CALLER: Dude, I don’t care what company it is. It’s your company using that company, so you guys charge it. So you guys should be waiving that shit-over-the-phone shit, pay by phone.

AGENT: Buy why don’t you talk to someone else, sir. One moment.

By now, the caller’s anger was hot. He was put on hold, but B.B.N. was still listening.

CALLER: Motherfucker, I swear. You fucking pussy, you probably don’t even have me on hold, you little fucked-up dick. You’re gonna wait a long time, bro.
You little bitch, I’ll fucking find out who you are, you little fucking ho.

After thirty seconds, we could hear bubbling noises–a bong, Alwan thought–and then coughing. Not long afterward, the caller hung up.

Geoengineering a reversal to global warming

I just read a great article in Wired about efforts to geoengineer a cooling of the Earth, since it’s clear to most that a complete cessation of carbon dioxide production is not feasible. The proposal is to capture sulfur dioxide from power plants, release it into the upper atmosphere (using jets, balloons, etc) where it will bond with water to form microscopic droplets of sulfuric acid, which will reflect a small portion (1-2%) of the sun’s energy back into space. The earth cools a bit, and within a year or two, the sulfuric acid falls to earth.

The inspiration came from a volcanic eruption in the Philippines in 1991, which created the same effect back then, and temporarily cooled the earth.

Of course, there’s always the possibility of unintended consequences. In fact, proponents admit that the sulfuric acid could (at least temporarily) destroy ozone, and fall to earth as acid rain. I don’t know what the extent (and how long-lasting) these effects are. I also don’t know if the reduction of sun energy would decrease food production, or disrupt the food chain enough to harm ecosystems. The problem is that these questions have incredibly complex scenarios. Mathematical modeling might only capture part of the picture.

One thing is for certain, though: global warming is real, and it will result in substantial changes for many parts of the planet. Doing nothing (or thinking hybrid cars and CO2 reduction treaties will do the trick) is irresponsible thinking. Considering the cost of the sulfur dioxide proposal (about $1 billion per year), we should seriously consider that the solution to global warming, at least in the relative short-term (over the next 10 years or so) might require us to seriously look at geoengineering proposals like this one.

When does the magic of a city wear off?

San Francisco and New YorkI live in an enviable corner of the world, the San Francisco Bay Area. But living in any place for an extended period of time, no matter how great, forces you to confront the inevitable drawbacks to any place. I have separate lists for San Francisco and Oakland, but in general, they could stand to be a bit warmer and more mature culturally.

I’ve adored New York City for decades and have wanted to live there as long as I can remember (I grew up in nearby New Jersey and always felt in awe of our neighbor while living in its shadow). I’ve loved every trip there as an adult (almost always in the summer). I love the sultry weather, the diversity, the gritty realness, and, most of all, the energy that you can only have when you have 1.5 million people (twice that of SF) from all over the world crammed into 34 square miles (SF is almost 40% larger).

It’s not that much of a stretch to imagine how all those things that make NYC wonderful could be turned on their head. High humidity isn’t fun when you’re dressed up and are in a rush (or when the A/C breaks). People still get mugged on the subway. The high population density makes rents and property high, and the cost of living near-astronomical. I’d imagine I’d have to switch from Zabar’s to the neighborhood bodega, and I’d have to learn to love drinking longnecks on my stoop instead of enjoying martinis at Splash, if I actually lived there. I don’t have a feel for how New York’s quality of life is income-dependent because I’ve never had the experience of living there.

And, besides, there are a few things that make SF special (this is for you, ya cranky asshole; hope you enjoy having your face rubbed in it):

  1. the city’s youth makes it open-minded, liberal and very creative
  2. dress is always casual; dressing up is always optional
  3. the constant chilling breeze keeps the air clean
  4. no metro area has a better pulse on new technologies
  5. the food is great; wonderful ingredients and vegetarian-openmindedness
  6. large Chinese population (an ethnic group I’ve always felt an affinity towards)

But, then again, NY has:

  1. all age groups adequately represented, giving the culture broader, richer perspective
  2. the seasons (all four of them!) give everyone an opportunity to diversify their wardrobe
  3. predictable weather (if it’s summer, it’s hot and going to stay hot through the night, which makes nightlife a dream)
  4. a heady artistic and intellectual undercurrent, supported by the city’s huge art and publishing industries
  5. excellent high-end restaurants and real pizza and bagels (something I’ve missed living out here)
  6. large Jewish population (another ethnic group I’ve always felt an affinity towards)

I dunno. I suppose living in NY for something longer than 6 months would make me realize that the place isn’t perfect. I thought Amsterdam was phenomenal when I spent a week there; living there made me think it was cold (weather & people).

I guess our ideal scenario is 6 months of the year in the Bay Area, and 6 in NYC (a warm spring-fall in NY, and a milder cooling-off in SF). If that isn’t an incentive to make money, I don’t know what is.

My favorite freaks: the screaming BART station lady

I’m starting a series about San Francisco’s most lovable weirdos. This is the first installment.

Pissed off old ladyAbout four years ago, I was waiting in the Daly City BART station (don’t ask) to head back home. That was the first time I saw the woman whom I affectionately call the screaming BART station lady. She was a petite 70ish white woman with glasses. She was screaming at the top of her lungs and swearing at the electronic sign:

God Dammit!!!!

SHIT!!!

Where’s the GOD. DAMN. 73?!?!

Another hour?!?! SHIT!!!

oooooooOOOOOOOooooOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!!!!!

Holy SHIT!!!

Goddammit!! I’m not going to get home for another HOUR! SHIT!

These expletives came out every 10 seconds or so. I was laughing so hard that my sides hurt, tears were streaming down my face, and I could barely breathe.

Any Bay Area resident can tell you that there is no bus number 73 that runs through the BART tunnels.

I couldn’t bear to tell her she was in the wrong place. I literally would’ve pissed my pants witnessing her reaction.

Fast forward four years. I’m in the Montgomery station tonight, around 7. Suddenly, I hear:

SHIT!

Ugggghhh!!! Another HOUR AND 45 MINUTES?!!?! AaaarrrrggghHHHHHH!!!!!

People around me in line looked worried, concerned. I started laughing.

GOD. DAMMIT!!!

Holy SHIT!

I’m not going to get home for another hour and a HALF!!! AAARRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!

SHIT!!!!!!

Where the hell was my digital camera when I needed it?